You've got a good-lookin' kid

Today was our appointment with a pediatric craniofacial plastic surgeon. Bet you didn't even know they existed, right? Honestly, I had very little insight into why we were meeting with him. In fact, when the nurse came in and asked why we were there I just said "Here's his prior records (handing over a file and pictures) and he is under evaluation for a tumor." At some point in the consult, Dr. T looked at us and told us we had a "good lookin' kid". Little did we know this is a pretty significant comment for a pediatric craniofacial plastic surgeon to make. For real, you are in the waiting room, trying to assess how your kid's head looks compared to the next patient. It's a sick parental "Toddlers with Tiaras" cranial edition.

Jason was able to come with me on this appointment. I realize that he is who keeps the lights on, the roof over our head and the food on our table, so I've never really felt alone or lacking when he was unable to make appointments before. I was there for all Nick's physical therapy when he was a baby. I was there when he had hours of testing for the pulmonary valve stenosis. I was there for the orthopedic surgeon and the ophthalmologist. I felt he was doing his job and I was doing mine.

Today was different. Today we had words like "tumor", "surgery"and  "surgical cranial reshaping" bumping around in our heads. I gave Jay the out because I know he's busier than a hooker on nickel night, but I also knew that somewhere in the last two weeks weeks we went from being just a family, just two parents raising a kid to a TEAM.  Nothing about our son will come through us or out of us without our TEAM approval.

I know, you want me to get to the point... the point seems good. Dr. T thought that, yes, Nick has some cranial abnormalities but very consistent with the torticollis ( muscular neck issues). In fact, he said, had we not done 6 months of 2x week physical therapy, Nick would very likely have a permanent tilt in his neck. While Dr. T could not rule out a tumor, (he agreed with next week's MRI to determine what the mass is), his demeanor and willingness to answer my 800 questions was encouraging. The student in me found some ridiculous amusement when he told me I was asking good questions. Nerd.

Back to Jason. At one point I realized he reached his hand over to me. This is a big deal. It's deliberate. It's saying BREATHE.... And I've never appreciated and loved another person so much. It felt so great to lean into the only other person on the planet feeling what I was feeling at that moment.

We walked out to the car, hugged for a long time and decided next week will be the Superbowl of big wins with the MRI.

It's not over, but the absence of bad news is my new good news. Your energy and prayers are healing Nick and carrying us. Thank you.